Sep 27, 2005

we all need a fan

I used to know this guy...he would make these loud proclamations about me in group settings, proud affirmations of my intelligence or beauty or wit. We were sort of friends. And he was older...much older, so it never came off like a play. It came off like I had an admirer. An appreciator.
Like I said, a fan.
Time and again I meet someone like this, usually an older man, a mentor of sorts, often...but not always, sometimes it's a peer or someone totally unexpected, and they play the role of slightly distant observer an...oddly vocal audience to what normally feels like my somewhat invisible presence.
I don't know why I appreciate this observance. Truth be told, more often than not it has skirted the edge of impropriety. Let's face it, a 50 year old man loudly proclaiming a 15 year old girl a beauty doesn't go over well. Nor does a professor playing favorites, or a rabbi noting talents best left un-encouraged.
But for some reason these characters have always made me feel that much more real and helped to get a sense of presence in the world surrounding me.

And sure, I've gotten more than my fair share of criticisms in the same context. But the mind reels too quickly to fully appreciate those experiences for anything but the suck they fully embody.

So yes. A fan is nice. It's good to have a fan or two. Someone to remind you that certain acts and aspects are, indeed, making an impression.

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