Jul 14, 2006

The thing is, sometimes they are just paying too close attention. That fucking love. It's like your parents, how you guard them from everything that is you because their gaze is so focused and invasive.
They ask the simplest question and it rolls off you like water. What? Where was I? What's his name? What do I want? What time is it? OH I don't know. I'll tell you later. One word answers and slight revelations devalued by your reluctance to share even the slightest morsel with such a hungry devourer.
I remember I had this friend once. She was, well, what she was is irrelevant but she was a good person, I'll say, and leave it at that. And she cared. Really. She listened. She was concerned with my whys and whats and how was I doing now and could she get me anything to drink and I looked a little pale and how dare he do that to me and how was my day and I swear I wanted to scream. Stop looking at me. Why do you care? How can you care more about than I do about you? How can you care more about me than I care about me?
And how unfair is that?
Somebody finally pays some damn attention and I treat them like they aren't worth the words.
It'd be less than irrelevant to say that life just isn't fair sometimes, wouldn't it?

No comments: