Jul 14, 2008

So, while I certainly wish no one is this world harm, I have to admit a certain, ummm, disappointment in the order of the universe when people I know to be cruel, selfish, or even careless with others emotions prove to be happy, successful in their pursuits. A certain frustration is born, a kharmic let down (taking liberties, I realize, with the word) if you will. How are those so seemingly undeserving allowed to thrive.

My friends ex for example. What a horrible guy. The selfish reckless disregard he revealed with her love would have made him prosecutable in a court of law, were there such a thing for such things. And I seem him all the time, happy and shiny with some new girl. And she’s better looking than my friend (though I’d never say so) and they seem to having a lot of fun. She. She looks like a lot of fun. And this girl. I’m sure she’s great. But I wonder…how did he even end up with the likes of her? And then I realize I’m insulting my friend, though I may have wondered the same during their courtship at times. And I seethe. How dare he. How dare he be so light and free, when I see her work through the damage all the time. When I see the new lines he gave her, the wariness he helped create.

But ofcourse, it’s obvious. He wasn’t the one robbed. He left himself with more to give, more to take.

And that, again, to be circular, like the subject at hand, is when I look to the universe to right what we, as conscionable people, can not right ourselves. Oh lord, please strike him down with fat, or depression. Or a terrible he mate he falls hopelessly in love with, if only for a short while, so that this maelstrom of a human might be reduce to a light rain storm, a sad, but contained, grey day.

But I guess that is what makes me a human. My inability to affect such change, except within myself. Indeed, even, my lack of awareness of what the true order of things are, of what such a change might be, of what true balance justice might appear to be.

So be it. I can still spit in his food when he gets up to get a drink.


Mischief Maker said...

Kharmic let down! There really is such thing and I am not happy about it either. I always enjoy your observations and was glad to find a new post for my reading enjoyment.

cordelia said...

I wanted to eat that post. I don't really know how else to put it.

jen said...

There Ain't No Justice, the World is Not Fair, blah blah. no matter how many times people tell me that shit I can't help feeling surprised and betrayed just when i least expect it.

Nice post.