Jun 11, 2009

Things you can't say to your friend out loud

Do you know a dead thing when you see it? like an animal by the side of the road. can you sense it's empty shell?
until you go up and shake it do you think it's just sleeping. I don't know. I suspect we can feel the slithery slip into a place that is ...not here. We can sense the silence on the back of our necks. the absence crawls down our back, slithers around in our stomache, into our heart.

I have seen things die before. Literally. Metaphorically. More the latter, fortunately, I think.
And I never know whats worse..that moment when your worse suspicions are confirmed, or when you realize you missed it ten miles back. Waving the corpse around like a puppet. Pretending you see a smile and not gravity's cruel trick. contemplating jump starting it with a bumper cable and a six pack.

I don't know. I mean, they have these inventions now. These paddles. And they can shock a heart as good as new in moments flat if you get there in time. If you are fast enough and recognize the symptoms. But usually you still have to figure out what stopped the heart. Sometimes it's something as random and blameless as a bolt of lightening. A waking call from the sky. Comforting in it's lack of context and the very fact that you can guarantee happenstance seldom knocks twice.
Sometimes it's something far more sinister. far more chronic. and then there is the cure.

then there is the cure.

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