the minor leagues

we are all sisters. that is what we tell ourselves right? supportive, never competitive, completely invested in each of our friends, beautiful in their own rights, doing as well as they can, whenever they can, irregardless of our own personal fortune.

but is this really true?

I am not really so sure.

oh you know what they say about girls. they are competitive. petty and ruthless. pretty little backstabbing bitches who only love you as long as they can love themselves more.


I don't believe that to be true either.

But sometimes...sometimes I wonder if there is a fine line. or a large grey progression from the beautiful supportive selfless network we'd like to see ourselves in to the vicious circle we fear.

I mean, I think, honestly, we all want to see our friends thrive. Do wonderfully. Be very very happy in whatever way best suits them. Find love and fame and fortune and get the appreciation they deserve.

But I think where this gets iffy, gets difficult, is when one friends is getting what they deserve, and another...very simply isn't. or, atleast, is not getting what they think they deserve. Or, more to the point, are getting much much less.

Which is to say, in all relationships, inequity is a killer.

And we've seen that scene. A group of girls out. All pretty. But some are prettier than others. And they are all getting attention, some more than others. As long as the variance isn't too great it really doesn't tend to matter. But when it is, well, thats when things get special.

And there is always that one girl, who is happy to spread the love as long as she knows it's hers to spread. Which is to say: she has to be on top.And you may be allowed to have what she does not, but you are not allowed to have what he CAN not.

Which is to say, it's a dog eat dog world. And you'll be alot happier if you build a family, create a team you can depend on. But what happens when everyone doesn't qualify for the same league. How does this work when one person is beautiful and smart and just got that promotion and another is flailing by the roadside, alone and abused and hoping to make ends meet?
How do we then, decide what teamwork is really made of. And who sits bench? And who on that team is really that sad when you seat the star player for a few minutes and give that little guy his place in the sun....

I don't know. None of it makes any sense.
I just know I want everyone to get what they need to be happy. But I also want mine. And do we really all have to share?