Oct 24, 2005

enough about me, let's talk about you

so we'll start at the beginning
we'll try to be honest, no games
I'll tell you everything, I mean, as political as my descriptive methods might be, I am nothing if not candid
full-disclosure is the default at hand and when you look me in the eye you best check your ego at the door

how about we talk about my conception


let's go further back, we'll talk about the completely predictable and somewhat quaint series of events that led to my family, my parents, and their eventual union
how sweet and somewhat unsual that union was for something as predictable as it should have been

we'll talk about what they brought to the table
her insecurities, his unpredictability
she, beauty and brains
he, concise and dashing
their pride at the eventual creation of me
their difficulties that became mine

we'll talk about my childhood
you know, I was scared of fire engines when I was little
and flushing toilets
and the horned monsters on sesame street that only spoke in permutations of one word
and we'll talk about southern california and rollerdisco and ELO and styx
the pool bar my friends mom worked in and the scary girl down the street who tried to make her emotional problems mine
I'll tell you I was popular in the sixth grade
I'll tell you I was smart, and gifted, and pretty and skinny and tan and some girls hated me enough to successfully, for a while ostracize me the year before
it's true, you know

but that won't be enough, highschool will be far more informative...we'll speak of all the hours of I spent trying to pretend i didn't exist and the few moments I tried, desperately to be noticed
I'll show you all of my warning notices for cutting class and my glowing marks in english class, pictures of me, sullen and bored. you can read the journal I had to keep for humanities
I'll tell you I was the only person who got a rousing ovation for my senior english project or that I never dated a single boy in the actual highschool I attended
that I graduated a virgin, that I never went out drinking, that I listened to the police incssantly and died my hair "english major wine red" and was desprately desperately numb
it's true, it's all true

and then college, when I came alive and almost didn't pass because I was so excited to feel things that feeling things was all I wanted to do

we could stay up all night and talk about my first real job, and my first real love and the first time I was drunk and the first time I left the country

you'll want to know why I am offended by the very notion of decaf coffee and why I love small spaces but am afraid of elevators and how I got this scar on my eyebrow and even more importantly the one on my side
it's huge
it was once a hole big enough to see my beating heart

just let me know when you think you know me

because I can't wait to hear about you

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