Oct 19, 2005

okay, this one really is about you

all of you
every single one of you
I can't help it, conversations inspire thought, and some thoughts apply to many

sooner or later you are going to fuck up
that's just the way it is
you've done it before,you'll do it again: you've made mistakes, you've made large moves in your life that resulted in paths that were not best for you or those you cared about
you lost your head, your wealth, your shirt, your six-pack, your way, your wallet
all you wanted to do was come home to someone who would make you some soup and put on a movie and hug you and tell you they loved you even though you were confused and unemployed and smelled funny because you were still smart and kind and hot and had serious fucking potential to make you and them happy

I'm not saying every mistake should be forgiven, I'm not saying that some faults aren't tantamount to dismissal...some things are, indeed, deal breakers
if I ever see you be mean to the elderly you are off my gift list. Affinity is not possible if you are petty or if you are cruel.
I mean, one should have standards, an order of priorities that will allow you to choose to be around those that will best enable you to live a joyful and meaningful life. Judgement should be used to assess what you need in a friend, in a partner, to be satisfied.

But there is a place for judgement and a place for flexibility. When you were young you had a fantasy of that perfect boy or girl who would swoop in and be no trouble at all and their breath would smell like promise and everything they did would inspire you, excite you, seduce you. They would be good and kind and hot and smart and loving and like to do all the things you liked to do and always be happy when you called.
Some of these things are essential, still.
Some should be assessed for what details will, indeed, allow for your personal happiness and growth and fulfillment.
More to the point of people being imperfect, people are different. They have different needs, and even when you can count on them not to display some massive personality flaw they are apt to expose a difference in opinion, communication or desire that might annoy or frustrate you.
They'll hate your favorite kind of food or think western movies are dumb or be bad with numbers or really really hate going to bed before midnight when you pass out at 10pm.
One's gotta make allowances.
it's not about having high or low priorities, it's about having perspective.

It seems to be that having high priorities is expecting quality in those you care about,and qualities that you value, and then learning to assess what differences can be accepted and still allow for your own level of satisfaction, and what ones will always interfere with your ability to communicate, grow and in general appreciate each other and life in general. Anything else smacks of punishing those you love for the very kind of imperfections or differences you very much hope they will accept in you.

and I don't think this is so much a matter of becoming a better person, as learning to build meaningful relationships that will faciliate your own happiness. it's about not throwing the baby out with the bath water so you can grow a family. and finally, learning to accept and embrace the faults and differences in those you love, learning to keep those who are as imperfect as you around, can teach you how to be more forgiving and nurturing to your self

so few things matter compared and some things really do
perhaps high standards should start with holding ones self up to a protocol that prioritizes valuing the things in themselves and other's that will allow their spirit to soar

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