May 24, 2006


oh hell, remember how it used to feel to think about it
I mean, when you were young...I dont know how young you were, but at some point it was abstract and exciting and enticing and titillating. You imagined it all a swirl of ecstasy. Well, no, first it was gross. icky, Than it became taboo. Then it became romantic. And exciting.
And as you got older and as the details became more concrete, sex took on it's own set of rules. But for a while, atleast, the magic surounding it was still exciting and beautiful and binding and empowering and it was gonna be fun, damnit. It was all about what you were here for.
And then sometimes it was dissapointing. Or surprising.
But even, so, you couldn't help but to is about feeling good and feeling alive. Sex is there as a bonus. It's the cherry on the sundae. Pun, yes, fully, intended.
So when the hell did it get so political? When did it get so cruel and devisive. Why do people do that? Why take something only there to create bonds and ecstasy and, yes, life, and turn it into the cruelest little way to pressure and cajole and minipulate? How does it not rot the very soul to turn such a thing on it's head.

I heard these stories last night. These petty and ugly stories of manipulation. These cruel and abusive and bullying ways sex was coopted and used to punish and rate and I suddenly felt this rush of desire..for innocence.
No, not sexual innocence. No not purity, But the kind of real innocence that would never allow us to twist the very things meant touch and comfort and bring eachother to life to kill the very spirit that lives to love. The kind of innocence that abolishes shame and makes sexual guilt and carnal extortion an unknown path ever to wander down.

1 comment:

hudi said...

I like you.