I am really glad you asked me that question. You are right, this is not, indeed, my dream job. In actuality I am working on a Broadway musical that creatively explores the world of dysfunctional office politics. That is why I am before you today, interviewing for this position. I deduced by the disdainful way you dismissed your administrative assistant and the uncomfortable mannerisms your researcher has probably only recently developed as a reflex action to your gazing over his shoulder at inopportune moments you are not, shall we say, the "familial mentor" you fancy yourself to be. The fact that your entire staff is using equipment circa 1985 while you carry a state of the art Personal Assistant, Palm Pilot and Cell phone only enforces my belief that you have an exaggerated sense of self importance and grant little respect or credence to the notion that a happy worker is a successful worker. Even more compelling are the array of forcefully cheerful signs meant to boost morale, liberally arranged across the office. "Today is a Good Day!" " I CAN meet the December 25th production deadline with a smile!" And I won't even comment on the smirks and grimaces in the group office portrait.
Your aggressively familiar benevolent dictator like directorship will provider me with the remaining fodder I need for my humorous, yet punchy, big finish. I hope you will consider me when it is time to fill this position.