Jan 30, 2007

The other day I gave my boyfriend a shirt, because it looked better on him

I always liked that shirt, but it didn't feel right on me. It didn't look right on me. I didn't like myself in it. Now it will get worn, and it will get worn right.

Let this be a lesson to you all.

And in other news:


When I initially read it, I had to admit some annoyance, some cynicism, some indignation, some frustration. I have a lot of close wonderful female friends that would no sooner steal your boyfriend than they would steal your couch. And maybe, I thought, maybe, even if it's true, this fucked up sense that women are all catty backstabbing boyfriend stealers, competing with eachother constantly, does not need reinforcing. Maybe stating this creates a certain paranoia and insisting on it is simply part of a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But then I read it again. And, you know, and I had to admit, she's got a point. I mean, I've never stolen anyone's boyfriend and I've never tried and I never want to. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about appreciation and self-esteem and the sense of competition reinforcing the value of a commodity. Because, let's face it, it IS weird to be the only one who wants something. When I walk into a completely empty restaurant I get the heebie jeebies. Hell, I've even left that kind of scene. And I figure, if no one else wants to eat there, there is probably a reason. Maybe the foods bad, maybe it's overpriced, maybe it's poisonous. Or maybe, just maybe, it's just mediocre and there are better places to be. Who wants to invest in something average in a town full of fantastic restaurants, even if they have a 5 minutes wait for seating.
So yes, sometimes knowing your lover is appreciated by others sweetens the deal. Sometimes getting that they chose you, didn't default into you, is a beautiful feeling as well.

But what really inspired me to post was this:
"And if you are a loser or a reject who struck gold by snagging your significant other? Pretend you’re not. Don’t constantly insult them by vaguely suggesting that they ‘settled’ for you. Besides, if your significant other is as wonderful as you say, they probably have solid, legitimate reasons for being in your company. Don’t underestimate yourself.
And if you have already lost respect for your significant other and wonder if you can do better? Drop them, already. Trust in the fact that there is someone, somewhere, who will see your ex as a good catch. Of course, your ex will probably convince them otherwise and get dumped again, but at least you don’t having to listen to that pitiful whining anymore."

It is very very important to respect your partner. This includes respecting their tastes. This includes respecting their opinion. This includes respecting their time and their stuff and what they do for a living and their sense of humor. If you can't respect your partners choice in you, you should get the hell out. And get a therapist, while you are at it. Come on, you can trust their taste in movies but not in people? What does that say about what you think about them?

And If you think there is something uncomfortable or unreasonable or unlikeable about your partner thats enough to even bother you, enough to arouse your pity or to encourage your wandering eye. Get the FUCK out. Because the minute you are with a partner you no longer respect you have lost your own self-respect. And you know what, they can do better. Someone else will look amazing in that coat that never suited you, anyway. Someone else can show us all what an amazing sweater that really is.

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