double agent

I listen to people lie to themselves a lot. I noticed this, not all too recently, with a certain frustration. Somehow, you know, naming the sin made it that much more present in my own mind.

But I'm not kidding and I don't know when it started, but it's almost become like second nature. Absorbing almost truths intersected by denial and misguided intention.

And you know what I mean. Someone you like or love, or at least, in general are prone to respect and trust says something. And the alarm bells go off. Thats weird. You think. Why are my alarm bells going off? This is a nice honest person and if they really want to go on a juice fast because it wil lpurify their soul, or don't believe in jealousy or think they are ready for a relationship or truly OVER him, and so therefor can be the maid of honor is his wedding, who am I to judge. You suck it up. You hear their words, you trust their intentions, you empathize...or you try.

These sort of concessions are seldom met with curshing surprise with the almost truth turns out to the a half truth turns out to be a semi truth, turns out to be something they once believe or even, holy crap. An outright lie.

But yet. We are friends. Friends. I'm a friend. I listen. Don't say shit. Nod in an agreement. You GO GIRL! There is a rule book on this somewhere. This is how I stay BFF!

And then, you know, suddenly you have to ask yourself: whose the double agent?