Jan 3, 2010

last night

I woke up in a panic around 2:30. A moment so saturated in anxiety that I couldn't stay in bed. I got up, checked on the dog, checked my phone, checked my email.
I tried to read. I wondered if this is how people with children feel in their first few months...wondered what had caused it? A dream? Sixth sense?
The feeling of loss and dread was so authentic I could barely believe it was fabricated from loose emotion and the ghost of past lost.

Several hours later I blame hormones. Too much wine. Perhaps an epic dream lost to an overheated bedroom tossing.

I have no idea.

All in my head, as they say.

And, naturally, there is an object lesson to be learned from such a thing.

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