May 19, 2011

Just a tip (take 2)

"Just a tip: playing cool, hard to get, or mostly ambivelent about getting to spend time with your friends, lovers, or people you just generally like doesn't make you look cool, it just insults them, devalues their time, and make you look like an ass."

This seems so obvious, and yet...and yet modern times have really taken a toll on our manners and truly served to complicated even the most basic desire: to spend time with someone you like. I mean, it once was common practice to send a paper invitation letting someone know you'd be HONORED if they would be amenable to your stopping by or coming for tea. You'd send a little note, and joyfully anticipate a positive reply. You'd set a nice place service, you'd embrace your friend from across town warmly like they had travelled the alps to share bread with you. Now you get a text at 9pm that says "I'd maybe be into hanging out if you are free". You show up and they ask you to pick up a six pack on the way only to find out, when you show up, that 3 other people got that text too, and your friend has to step out for a moment. Really? Really people? I mean, I have seen people ask people out that they WANT TO DATE with a "maybe you want to go to this show? I might be there with some friends" This is how you reveal your enthusiasm to get to know another? Look, the way I see it is: if you want to spend time with someone you ask them to DO something (or specifically nothing) with you in a way that lets them know you really want to see them, and then you give them your attention. If you want to hang out with a group casually atleast let people know you are happy to do a group hangout if they are up for it, don't make out like you are doing them some great big favor by hanging around your house should they trip and fall into your home. If you like someone let them know you like to be around them. If you don't like someone enough to respect their time and their efforts, don't bother asking at all, man

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