Apr 23, 2012

Know what? It really bums me out that you don’t seem to like me anymore.

There. I said it. Out loud. You don’t seem to like me very much, and, well…that is sad. Not just because I am insecure and I have a hard time with a loss of affirmation and because I will go over all of my failings as a friend, over and over again. But also because, sometimes, I actually miss you. I miss the familial comfort, I miss …well. It. Us, whatever kinds of friends we are. Even if we weren’t perfect. Even if we had issues. Even if we grew apart.
So yes. I get it. We aren’t BFF and we aren’t going to be going on long road trips together or exchange travelling pants or be having slumber parties or go double dating.
So be it. And, like I said. It makes me sad. And confused. I wish you still liked me. But not everyone can, or does. And I get that, because it is their right.  

But know what else? What doesn’t just bum me out but actually really pisses me off? That you are doing such a bad job of even pretending you like me.
I mean really? Really? The open coolness? The completely obvious annoyance whenever you find yourself accidentally in my midst. The not even half an attempt to hide that my presence puts you out? 

I understand that this too is your right. As a human. As an AMERICAN.

And maybe, just maybe, you think this makes you honest. Or sincere. Or reflects an integrity found in a person who is just too true to hide their real feelings.

But I think it just makes you callous, and me embarrassed. Uncomfortable. Awkward every time I see you and like I should apologize for existing in your very delicate world.

I mean, come on. If I have offended you enough that you can’t hide the frustration, you should probably say something.
But if you can’t, or won’t,  or just don’t want to, you should bottle it up just a little bit better and fake it. Grow the fuck up.
We all deal with people we’d rather not. Family. Coworkers, and extended circles of friends.
Not everyone can like everyone. But it is a matter of simple consideration that you control that distaste well enough so that they don’t become other people’s issues too.

Making people feel bad is not a demonstration of strength or honesty. It is just selfish.


Bjetsey said...

woah, I am glad I am not that stupid person. Anytime you, me, Minerva, Nunzio, Jason, Dan, & Esme can find to road trip together - SCORE.

daff0dil said...

yay! agreed!