"everything will change when your desire to move on exceeds your desire to hang on"
I've been at points in my life in which a decision to suddenly change something large appeared arbitrary, confusing, perhaps even a bit insane.
Usually this takes the form of job taking. Unlike most people I know I have rarely changed jobs for a huge promotion or increase in pay. I have even been known to leave a very secure, well paying job, that easily came to me for a job that was challenging and, ultimately paid less.
Why would I do such a thing to myself.
The same reason you might get married, or have a baby, or get a pet, or ...break up, even.
All these things, they are all very different. In degrees and in quality and in reward. Some might have a much more obvious reward (see, years of love from offspring) while some might be a little less clear (see: painful breakup with non abusive partner).
But they share something in common that is not just relevant, but very simply should not be shorted in it's significance.
A need to move on. A need to change. A need to grow.
Understand: stillness is very important. Presence. Being in your moment and not living for the future and growth helps you appreciate your present and enjoy the fruits of your choice.
But inherently, metabolically, organically, we are objects in motion. We are moving towards something. And it is not always wonderful, but often it is necessary.
Sometimes you will make a choice that does not present an obvious immediate reward to those looking on, or even yourself, but you will know and feel it's necessity, long before the ultimate payout becomes clear.
Even though the ultimate payout has already begun to bare dividends.
I believe acknowledging your own action instead of creating resistance inertia, is a reward unto itself. It bears the fruit of self actualization and creates an honesty that will allow you to enjoy the love in your life, the joys in your future more wholly. It is the process of shedding your shell, over and over again, and baring your skin to the wind so you can eventually feel the sun.
Put on your sunglasses, you just went outside. And right now it will burn. But soon it will be glorious.