Feb 14, 2007

festival of stereotype

Okay, so here is the deal:

I'm a girl.

I might not be delicate or petite or fragile. I might curse like a sailor or get really into traditionally masculine traditions, interests or activities, I might not be able to walk more than 10 feet in high heels. But I am a girl. A fucking girl, and sometimes, really, thanks to delicate blend of our friends nature and nurture, it really is pretty easy to please me and my girly girly needs.
We girls share this in common, and that why it really yanks my chain when I see someone upset to a basic misunderstanding about basic girly expectations.

So guys, I'm here to tell you a few things about your girl that will serve you well in the long run.

She's pretty and sexy and an object of your worship. Okay? Not in a gross way. Not in a formulaic 36-24-36 way. In a real and bonafide way deserving of your attention. She's beautiful because she'd your girl and she wants to know it. So whenever you think it, feel free to say it. Really, if you mean it, I doubt you'll get much pushback. Let her know you want her. You need her. That she inspires you like the mona lisa. Let her know.

She's smart. Okay? Even if she seems like a giggling and silly imbecile at times she has some intelligence that attracted you to her. So respect her needs and opinions. Find a way to listen to her beliefs and absorb her values without dismissing them. You can disagree. Thats fine. But disagree as one intelligent person disagrees with another, not as a father dismisses his childs notions.

She's silly. Okay? Even if she's a doctor or a lawyer or an ENT or a actuary. She's got a sweet soft silly bone in her body. Just like you do. And it never hurts to respect that in the same way you'd like her to respect your desire to never ask directions or play 8 hours of video games or charge up a mountain in the middle of the night because you were dared. or whatever other steriotype I can come up with. Yes. I know. I am being formulaic. I drawing lines in the sand where they need not be. Still you get my point.

And my point is: people are who they are. Some of that is a result of upbringing, some of it a result of natural tendency, some of it, perhaps, a result of gender and all the connotaions associated. They have different needs, mentalities, temperments, pressure points, strengths and fragilities. And objecting to that on principal or wishing it weren't so isn't going to change the innevitability of variance coupled with the predictability of cultural influence. Look at your partner and assume this to be case. They are not you and they are not obligated to react like you, or value the same things you value, or hope for the same things you hope for. And if there is an obvious way to please them, even if that way wouldn't please you, maybe you should think about engaging said pleasuring activity. Think about it. You are pleasing someone you love. Even if you'd personally rather be skinned alive then get a massage or receive a compliment having to do with your tiny tiny waist. Well, think about it. That compliment, that compromise, that concession. It's a gift. And the point of a gift, is that it's not for you.

Except that it is. They say it beter to give than receive. Think about it. Really.

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