Understand, it was not my intent to evolve into a fundamentally intolerant or judgemental person
I spend many many years of my life battling just that fate. Embracing an ideology that speaks of understanding, cultural sensitivity, awareness of personal boundaries, styles and growth and a suspension of value judgement when hearing each person's plight.
I still, on many levels, still believe in that philosophy. From a treatment perspective, from a policy perspective, I believe that people have a right to be who and what they want to be if they aren't hurting anyone. And since most people are hurting someone, somewhere, I'm even willing to say "doing a reasonable amount of harm that can be expected from a lifetime of activity"
That being said. I've changed.
I was watching this video. The power of nightmares. And I found myself nodding in agreement to certain assertions of the radical islam right: that the american lack of morals, their lust and gluttony was leading to a downfall.
Now, I do not believe this. Not truly, not in an original sin fashion. I support a sex positive, open lifestyle.
What I do believe, however, is that gluttony, as often as not, can be seen to tie to the more than it's share of unhappiness.
And I don't mean simple gluttony. I mean excess. I mean more. and more. and more.
Not just a good meal, but a good meal with king size portions. Not just a lovely glass of wine but a magnum of the most expensive champagne. Not just great sex. But great sex with shomever whenever, damn the consequences.
It is our right. It is our manifest destiny. To take take take and feel slighted and trapped and bored and stifled when someone suggests we slow down. ration. portion. moderate.
and then what do we do? we get angry. we feel frustrated. we get manic. because if too much can not make us feel great, well then we are damnit, gonna feel something greatly.
it's drama. created by our own lack of purpose, cheered on my the big hole inside of stretched out stomaches and silent hearts