I can’t promise you I will be fun, or cool, or to love you in the way you want at every point in time.
I can’t promise you I will understand you, or that I will always get what you are asking for or what you think you need.
I can't promise you that you will understand me.
I can’t even promise you that I will always be patient, or generous or kind.
But what I want to promise, today, is that I will love and support you when it is awkward, even when it is inconvenient, even when it is hard and confusing.
And more to the point: that I will use my love for you push the confines of what is easy, what is normal, what is expected, so that I can give you the kind of love you need, whenever I am remotely capable.
So often we let expectations and hopes cloud the reality of necessity. People break their legs on other continents and become republicans. We get on a plane. We love them nonetheless.
But seriously. And truthfully. Being there for eachother will not always look and smell like we hope. The instinct will be the create a shadow of a relationship that allows us to comfortably and cleanly love in areas that least challenge us.
But, It will not be all about warm and well attended family dinners and a speech on your wedding day.
That isn't love. That is a painting and an indie move.
Sometimes people need you to express love and support in manners that are truly scary, anxiety producing, and even annoying.
That is okay. That is better. That is how we stay alive. That is how we grow.
I promise to model brave love so you may do the same. So that you may recognize, in moments of greatest intimidation and fear, that a door is opening is know yourself and those you love with even greater depth and intimacy. And so that you always feel more secure when you give as much as you can.