Jun 23, 2005

now, right now

lust is a fascinating thing
real animal lust, I mean
not gentle sweet love or yearning hope
but lust
it's like thirst...it can be so immediate, so desperate, so overwhelming that the presence of it spins everything off it's orbit
it's primary, and it's unshakeably motivating and relevant
and when satisfied, even on the smallest level, it's the most relieving and refreshing sensation
I'm not even talking crude sex tactics, I'm referring to even the most rudimentary and subtle sensory gratification: the object of your need reaching out and touching you, giving you a look
the thing is the simplicity of it, I think
I find it's an increasingly uncommon that I have simple and straightforward needs and wants
even with hunger you need to make a decision
but when I am thirsty, I know that all I want to do is find a glass of water
and with lust, well, you can do the math
the experience of wanting, purely and without a need for discernment or decision, without confusion and without pause, makes everything else seem a little more vivid, a little less overwhelming and adds what I believe to be a necessary context to our ridiculously complicated life.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

'Nice to see that lust comes to you in such powerful bursts. My current surge started when I was about four years old. Looking at women and immediately imagining them in all sorts of positions, thinking "I wonder what you taste like" -- has never quite earned me much in life. Alex Portnoy and Alvy Singer may have suffered through similar obsessions, but they figured out (afterall, they're fictional characters) a way to satiate it.

daff0dil said...

I think thats different
I am not speaking of the ongoing lustful yearnings that occupy our thoughts
I am speaking of the tidal wave,the random one that hits you when you desperately want someone or something